john_amend_all
Fic commentary: Third Time Pays For All 
2nd-Jul-2017 08:50 pm
john_amend_all: (wizard)
[personal profile] lost_spook asked for a commentary on Third Time Pays For All.

This one has a pretty clear genesis, having started with a prompt that [personal profile] lost_spook plucked from the Ersatz Genremixer: John Seward / Mina Harker / Lucy Weston - timeloops. Given my tendency to write fixits, 'timeloops' led me more or less directly to the 'Groundhog Day Loop' — otherwise known as a story where the author says to their characters "You are going to do this again and again until you get it right." Of course, the repeated attempts may well be necessary when 'getting it right' entails defeating a centuries-old vampire who can control minds and transform into a rubber bat on a string.

This being part of a ficlet meme, I decided it would be sufficient to write one iteration of the loop — the one where, by implication, all three protagonists end up in bed together. Or at least, might end up in bed together; I'm not sure I could write an actual sex scene anyone would want to read, and particularly not that actual sex scene.

It's not an accident that I also made it the iteration where the people in the loop realise they can do whatever they like, however outrageous, since it'll all be reverted the next time round the loop. I don't recall a story where the 'do something silly without fear of consequences' iteration turns out to be the one that sticks, but this time it just might. Still, it gives Lucy a chance to expand her horizons and find excitement and adventure and really wild things without the unfortunate side-effects of getting vamped.

I don't have a 'deleted scenes' package, but there's always room for a couple of hilarious outtakes:

Lucy gripped the back of a nearby chair. "Die? How?" She tried to force a laugh. "Really, if this is a—"

With a crack, the chairback disintegrated, leaving her in possession of a foot and a half of mahogany.

"CUT!"

Lucy looked from Mina to Doctor Seward, and a smile spread across her face. "Either you are right, and I am in peril from the Count. Or this is pure invention, and you wish to trick me into an elopement. Then by all means, let us have the elopement. We shall leave at—" She darted forward, and caught hold of her fiancĂ© as he slumped across the table. "Mina, help me!"

"He has fainted again, I take it?" Mina said, snatching up a carafe of water.

"Of course." Lucy began to loosen Doctor Seward's cravat. "And this is only when I suggest an elopment. What will he do when it happens?"

"You had better take care that he has loosened his cravat again."

Lucy shot her a wicked glance. "Oh, Mina. Before I am done I shall ensure you have both loosened everything."

Comments 
2nd-Jul-2017 08:03 pm (UTC)
lost_spook: (Dracula)
LOL, at your out-takes! They should have brought a stick or something to use to prop up Dr Seward. Next time loop around...

when 'getting it right' entails defeating a centuries-old vampire who can control minds and transform into a rubber bat on a string.

What are you insinuating here about 60s TV SFX? ;-)

Thanks! Given that it was a prompt fic, it was probably not the one to choose, but I enjoyed your commentary anyway. And the outtakes very much.
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