john_amend_all

At it again

Sat, 16 May 2026 17:28:41 GMT

Valen's Angels: Avenger (658 words) by JohnAmendAll
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Babylon 5 (TV 1993), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jeffrey Sinclair, Kosh (Babylon 5), Ulkesh Naranek
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Anime, Vignette
Summary:

Lydia is lost to her family. Darcy knows someone who could help.

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There has been joy. There will be joy again.

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 08:49:18 GMT

Two missing episodes of The Daleks' Masterplan found.

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Another generator turns psychic

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 21:45:38 GMT

I've been experimenting with Google's latest AI image generator (Nano Banana 2) to generate Jamie's Angels "fanart". AI image generation has come on a lot since last year; NB2 is capable of some impressive feats, such as tracking the flow of events in an image and guessing what came before or might come next. It's also still capable of out-and-out stupidity. One minute it's generating an entire six-panel comic strip with all dialogue correct, the next it's drawing characters with three arms or swapping whole people, or bits of them, in and out between frames. I haven't been sharing the results online because there doesn't seem to be any point; anyone who does want AI-generated fanart can generate it themselves with equal ease.

What made me do a double-take this time was that in my prompt, I gave it, as usual, character forenames, descriptions and costumes; and from that, the generator was able to deduce that there was a Doctor Who connection and added an unprompted police box in the background.

It's also possible to feed Nano Banana 2 an image and have it simulate people commenting on it, just in case one's ego is fragile enough to be flattered by fake reviews of one's fake fanart. (I was impressed that it understood the dialogue enough to follow Zoë's "Barbara Celarent" jibe). What's amusing is that when you do it with an image that it's generated itself, the comments sometimes point out mistakes (such as Isobel's camera suddenly teleporting to Gia). Which is all very well, but if the generator's got enough smarts to spot that something's wrong, it would would have been better to use them when generating the image in the first place.

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Ha

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 22:20:48 GMT

I had a wry flash of amusement that TechRadar's review of the "incredibly dull" Seven Dials adaptation begins "Even a TV genius like Chris Chibnall..."

Gosh, imagine how much worse things could have been if Chris Chibnall had been merely competent rather than yer actual TV genius.

(Having watched it, I am confirmed in my belief that Mr Chibnall has the stage direction [The heroine gazes mutely at the camera while the plot is read out to her at great length] bound to a single function key on his keyboard).

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A premise

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 15:55:52 GMT

This isn't so much a complete fic, as the premise for one. And an excuse for me to team up another character played by Sheridan Smith with another character played by Jenna Coleman.

Characters: Joey Ross, Johanna Constantine
Fandoms: Jonathan Creek, The Sandman (Netflix), other
Word count: ~1800 words
( The Premise )

( Notes )

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Recently read: 'Enter Sir John' by Clemence Dane and Helen Simpson

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 22:21:42 GMT

This had been on my to-read list for some time. When I read the Detection Club's parody Ask a Policeman I had some knowledge of three of the detectives being parodied — Lord Peter Wimsey, Mrs Bradley and Roger Sheringham, but the fourth, Sir John Saumarez, I'd never heard of before. At the time none of the books featuring him was readily available, but Enter Sir John has been reprinted recently so I thought I'd take a look. (The reprint is of the 1929 US edition, which apparently changes the victim's name compared to the UK version).

So, the plot: A travelling theatre company visits a provincial town. Screams are heard at a boarding house where two of the women are having dinner. When help arrives, one of them is dead, and the other one is promptly arrested, tried and convicted for the murder. Sir John, a noted actor-manager who knows Martella, the convicted actress, decides she is innocent and sets out to clear her name. Whether this inspired the premise of Dorothy L Sayers' Strong Poison or whether it was convergent evolution, I don't know.

Having read it, I think it's not entirely surprising that Sir John didn't have the lasting fame of the other three. He's an entertaining enough character, with the authors not taking him entirely seriously, but a lot of the surrounding cast aren't really fleshed out. And the plot is fairly slight; once Sir John has decided that Martella didn't do it, there aren't that many suspects for who did, so the second half of the book is fairly linear as he builds up his case, extracts a confession from the murderer, and gets Martella's conviction overturned. It's not to say there isn't the odd plot twist, but there's no point at which he has to throw out all his work and start again.

What does stick a little in the mind is the motive. ( spoiler )

And one curiosity. The reprint included a reproduction of the original frontispiece. What caught my attention was that the illustrator appears to have presciently modelled Sir John on Peter Capaldi.

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Alphabetical fic meme

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 15:29:18 GMT

Memed from thisbluespirit and pedanther:

Rules: How many letters of the alphabet have you used for starting a fic title? One fic per line, ‘A’ and 'The’ do not count for 'a’ and ’t’. Post your score out of 26 at the end, along with your total fic count.

Ac Velut In Somnis (DW / Knightmare, 30179 words)
Between the Old Year and the New (S&S / Lord Peter Wimsey, 4361 words)
Child of the Gods (DW / Federation of the Hub, 3892 words)
Death on the Marsh (DW / Doctor Syn, 19455 words)
Extra-Curricular Activity (DW, 12014 words)
False Arrest (DW, 943 words)
Genius and Geniality (DW, 30233 words)
How The Other Half Lives (DW, 3366 words)
In the Bag (DW / Adam Adamant Lives!, 1843 words, major character death)
Just Keep On Trying (DW / Portal, 3091 words)
Klepsmnemon (DW, 36398 words)
Legman (Red Dwarf / Miss Marple, 515 words)
Mayhap You'll Never See Such Another (Professor X / Inspector Morose, 1239 words)
Near Miss (DW / Blackadder, 100 words)
Old Shame (DW, 1172 words)
Party Piece (DW / Kaldor City, 1015 words)
The Quest of the Chocolates (DW, 735 words)
Red for Danger (AAL! / Green Knowe series, 594 words)
Samantha's Turn (DW, 6355 words)
Thy Ravish'd Hair (DW / The Goon Show, 3297 words)
Unbearable (DW [This Time Round], 3696 words, author chose not to warn)
Valen's Angels (B5, 864 words)
With Hilarious Consequences (DW, 568 words)
(For 'X' I'm afraid I've drawn a blank)
You'll Have Had Your Alternate Reality (You'll Have Had Your Tea, 1000 words)
Zombie (DW, 100 words)

Total score: 25/26, from 354 works on AO3.

I was pretty sure I wouldn't have any trouble with Z, and in the end I didn't even need to venture out of AO3 to exhume Zoë Heriot and the Elf-Knight to get there. If I ever do take up my keyboard again I'll have to consider what can be done with X, though.

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If I were to ask you if this was the way to the village, would you say yes?

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 13:12:58 GMT

In the last few years, generative AI has clearly developed many uses. Pictures of Paddington Bear bringing Sutekh's gift of death to all humankind? No sooner said than done. Footage of your favourite ship pair kissing, even when they never met in canon? There's a generator for that. Let alone the twerking...

One application that isn't so obvious and can sometimes lead to amusing not-quite-there misconceptions is to convert a picture into a romance novel summary. Feed whatever picture you like into the classifier at imagetoprompt.com, click on the thumbnail, and ask it "If this was the cover for a romance novel, what might the blurb say?" (For added verisimilitude, you can tell it the characters' names too).

( examples )

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Amazing what you can do with AI these days

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 14:52:45 GMT

It's doubtless the height of egotism, but I've been experimenting with getting AI to make covers and/or illustrations for some of my fanfic. The tool of choice this time was Google ImageFX.

In general, it doesn't do too badly with two or three people in the picture, but it seemed to find the half-dozen required for a Jamie's Angels ensemble pretty taxing. And while it's pretty good with spelling, pretty good is not perfect.

( Under the cut for size )

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I sense the hand of the Master in this

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 20:34:18 GMT

When I was in Waitrose this evening the attendant manning the self-service checkouts was putting free bunches of daffodils in everyone's shopping. At least they were real daffodils rather than plastic ones.

(Also, an afterthought re AUs — it didn't occur to me until just now that 'Nordic Noir' was a perfectly valid type of AU, and one which Taskmaster has canonically visited.)

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Fic: You Have Ten Alternatives

Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:50:49 GMT

A tumblr post by lurking_latinist suggested the concept of a "Taskmaster AU", and since I already had the Ten Alternate Universes meme lying around...

You Have Ten Alternatives (1000 words) by JohnAmendAll
Chapters: 10/10
Fandom: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, Doctor Who (2005), My Lady's Money - Wilkie Collins, James Bond (Movies 1962-2002), Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga), Babylon 5 (TV 1993), Sapphire & Steel (TV), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Greg Davies, Alex Horne (British Comedy RPF), Amy Pond (Doctor Who), Mike Wozniak, Old Sharon, George Wickham, Susan Ivanova, Stephen Franklin, James Bond
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Anime, Alternate Universe - Mythology, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Pirates, Alternate Universe - Space, Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Regency, Drabble Collection
Summary:

Applying the "Ten Alternate Universes" meme to Taskmaster.

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Actors I've seen elsewhere

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 20:38:37 GMT

I certainly wasn't aware that Hugh Burden played Lord Peter Wimsey on the radio, with Clifford Norgate as Parker.

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AO3 stats meme

Sun, 23 Feb 2025 23:26:07 GMT

Yoinked from thisbluespirit:

Rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

( Answers below )

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Star Trek: Section 31 spoiler-free nano-review

Sun, 26 Jan 2025 23:02:16 GMT

10 minutes of plot and 80 minutes of people kicking each other in front of flashing lights so you can't see who's kicking whom.

(OK, I didn't time it with a stopwatch but that's what it felt like).

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I've not seen the line drawn there before

Sun, 25 Aug 2024 21:38:59 GMT

Ever since the 2005 revival, and probably before, there's been a fairly standard template for an article about Doctor Who which goes: "Introducing the new companion, who's completely different from all the helpless screamers who came before her." Or, retrospectively, "X was a radical introduction as companion, so different from all the helpless screamers etc."

I think today's the first time I've seen the division between 'helpless screamer' and 'competent companion' placed as late as between Rose and Martha. I mean, say what you like about Rose (and I have) I'm finding it very difficult to picture her as 'hysterically screaming at every threat'.

(And another demerit to the article's author for capitalising the Doctor's "The" like it's a royal pronoun).

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Drive-by

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 21:22:44 GMT

If you can get at the iPlayer, there's a little 15-minute thing: Peter Davison Remembers... Campion. (They've got the actual episodes up on iPlayer at the moment, too).

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I'll be in the Carr

Sun, 28 Jan 2024 21:12:14 GMT

Following up on my last post: Quite a few audio adaptations of John Dickson Carr's works seem to have made it to YouTube, and people have been collecting them into playlists. This one starts with Fire, Burn! with some guy called Richard Hurndall in the lead. (Richard Hurndall playing a time traveller? Nah, it'll never catch on...)

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Drive-by rec

Sun, 07 Jan 2024 18:06:26 GMT

Archive.org has the BBC Radio series of Carr's Dr Gideon Fell mysteries, with Sir Donald Sinden in the title role. I remember listening to some of them in lunch breaks at work when they were originally broadcast, and enjoying them. So far this time round I've listened to He Who Whispers, which seems to be faithful to what I remember of the book.

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Recently read: Death in Fancy Dress by Anthony Gilbert [Lucy Malleson]

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 22:35:07 GMT

This was a British Library crime reprint that I purchased on a recent visit. It's apparently "considered to be one of [the author's] finest works" according to the blurb on the back, and got a glowing review from Dorothy L. Sayers on initial publication.

My reaction, having read it, was that there's a reason Sayers, and Christie, and Freeman Wills Crofts were bestsellers, whereas Anthony Gilbert wasn't. ( Don't think there are any major spoilers, but just in case... )

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AO3 Questions Meme

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 22:06:06 GMT

Memed from shivver: ( 1. How many works do you have on Ao3? )

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It's not what AI knows, it's who AI knows

Sun, 28 May 2023 21:20:11 GMT

Following on from my attempt to get AI to generate the evil alternates of Isobel, Victoria and Zoe, I remembered I'd also had a request for the punk Clara fragment from Off the Map.

This turned out to be unexpectedly easy (if slightly unnerving), because Stable Diffusion 2.1 and its derivatives know what a "Jenna-Louise Coleman" is. It literally was a matter of entering a prompt like Jenna-Louise Coleman driving a jeep, studded leather jacket, punk, shaved head, buzzcut and then sitting back while the AI did its work.

( Thus )

The technique appears to work on most NuWho actors that I've tried, either with their own names or the characters that they play. Sadly not for our favourites of 1960s cardboard TV, though. In one hilarious case, I tried 'Victoria Waterfield' as a prompt and the AI coughed up... a sports field with water in it.

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Mean Girls

Thu, 11 May 2023 13:16:06 GMT

A few years back, when I wrote Exchange Students, AllyHR commented:

Isobel as a punk is something I’d like to see illustrated.

I realised yesterday that with the current state of AI image generation, that's not so impossible now as it was then. So here is evil mirrorverse punk Isobel.
( Jezebel )
And then I decided to do Victoria's and Zoe's counterparts too.
( Tori )
( Slash )

(Technical notes: The main tool I used was the Stable Diffusion 2 "Inpaint" tool, which allows me to use text commands to replace part of an image. I also used the "Outpaint" tool to give Jezebel some shoulders, because the picture I started from was a very tight shot of her face.)

I probably owe apologies to Ms Faulkner, Ms Watling and Ms Padbury too.

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It's straightforward logic

Tue, 04 Apr 2023 16:31:17 GMT

If a sensitivity reader is someone who updates literature from previous decades by removing racist and ableist language and so forth...

Then presumably someone who updates literature from previous decades by adding in oaths and homosexuality and other things that are accepted now but weren't mentionable at the time would be an insensitivity reader.

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Currently rereading

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 11:11:56 GMT

It's a good week for fans of reaction videos and spooky 1980s TV -- Medusa Cascade has just started on Moondial, and Marie-Clare is most of the way through The Box of Delights, with the promise of Sapphire and Steel to follow. ( Various Box of Delights spoilers )

On an unrelated note: The other night I had a realistic, consistent dream in which the Fourteenth Doctor was being played by none other than Sir Tony Robinson. I didn't think the script was anything special, though.

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Companions that never were

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 10:25:06 GMT

lurking_latinist wondered who the AI-generated companions Duncan, Lloyd and Stardust might be.

I created some prompt text for the generator (basically, taking the companions' names and capsule biographies from TV Tropes, for Susan up to Harry). Then I'd add the requested character's name and hit the Big Blue Button.

( Duncan, Lloyd, Stardust, Alice and Mavis )

While I'm still on the subject of AI, I recall seeing a Spectator article along 'Journalists are all doomed, we'll be replaced by AI text generators' lines. What caught my eye was the prediction that fanfic would be one of the first areas of writing to succumb to the robot hordes. I can certainly see a place for robot-generated fanfic (particularly for someone whose interest was in a niche pairing *cough* Jamie/Sam *cough*), but since fanfic is a hobby that scratches a writer's itch I find it hard to believe that there wouldn't still be humans doing it the old-fashioned way.

(I did once try to get an AI to generate Lucie/Karen, priming it with the text of Professional Development. It just output more bickering, except that each time Karen insulted Lucie she'd conclude her remark with a kiss).

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