john_amend_all | UC generator ficlet

This was inspired by one of thisbluespirit's generated prompts.

Lord Wellington looked across the desk at Major Pollard and the man Turlough.

"Those are your orders," he said. "Any questions?"

Turlough glanced sideways at Major Pollard. "If I might venture to suggest, my lord... Would it not be more convincing if Major Pollard posed as the Condesa?"

Wellington snorted. "Sounds ridiculous to me. He wouldn't fool anyone for a minute, not with that moustache! What d'you say, Major?"

"I don't think I'd fit into one of Mr Rothschild's dresses, sir," Major Pollard said.

"No, definitely haven't got the figure for it, have you?" Wellington turned back to Turlough. "Get along to Rothschild. You'll be a blushing debutante by the time he's finished with you." He snapped his fingers at his aide. "Darling, take this man to Rothschild's quarters. Now!"

⁂

"You look ravishing," Major Pollard said, as they walked through the evening to their temporary billet. "If we didn't have to start early tomorrow I'd definitely invite you to a dance."

Turlough gave the Major a long look. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Pollard asked, directing a look of bland innocence towards him.

"Major, you strongly resemble a buxom young woman wearing a terrible false moustache. And yet, neither Wellington nor his aides seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary."

"Are you saying I'm a girl disguised as a man?"

"No, your gender isn't my business. All I'm saying is that you look far more feminine than I do. But neither Wellington nor his staff seemed to notice."

"Well, that's obvious, isn't it? If a girl dressed up as a soldier and joined the army, she'd have to make herself look like a man, wouldn't she? Or people would spot her at once."

"Yes."

"And I'm not trying to do that, am I? So I can't be a girl in disguise."

"Do you seriously believe that?"

Charley shrugged. "It seems to work whether I believe it or not."

UC generator ficlet

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