john_amend_all | Three things

More 500-prompts fic. This time it's from liadtbunny's prompt: "277. Catastrophe in the making - Second, Jamie":
Crucial Distraction (1389 words) by JohnAmendAll
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Doctor Who (Season 6B)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Second Doctor, Jamie McCrimmon
Additional Tags: 500 prompts
Summary: The Doctor's latest attempt, with Jamie's help, to save a base under siege.
A few days ago I made a rash remark about filking The Living Daylights as a celebration of Jo Grant — Assassin for hire!

Turns out it's not an easy song to filk, because A-Ha seemed to have a somewhat cavalier attitude to rhyme, scansion, and singing the words that all the transcripts say they should be singing. But if anyone is morbidly curious,
A Midi file with the tune can be found at midis.jamesbond-online.com.
Cute girl you'd like to cuddle,
Gets papers in a muddle,
Wears a bandeau on her head —
One wrong move, she'll strike you dead.

She's been killing people since the age of ten
She can cut your head off with a ballpoint pen
When you launch your planet-conquering attack,
It's Jo Grant who'll stick a dagger in your back.
(She's the) blonde assassin.

Her sights are on you now
Your death is in her mind:
She knows everything you've tried.
You can run but you can't hide.

No-one ever sees her gun until she shoots
She's got knives inside her four-inch platform boots
Every ring can kill you in a different way
Cross her and you'll never see another day.
(She's the) blonde assassin.
These banners are definitely addictive.

Three things

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