john_amend_all

A double-drabble episode tag for Death in Heaven.

Title: The Penalty of Trademark Infringement
Author: john_amend_all
Characters: Seb
Rating: All ages
Warnings: Spoilers through Death in Heaven
Word count: 200
Disclaimer: Seb doesn't belong to me, and I wouldn't have him as a gift.
Summary: The henchman's lot is not a happy one.

"Squeeeee— Oh."

Suddenly Seb was lying on his back, and the sky over his head was dark, lit with countless stars. There was cold, dry sand under his back. Fighting back simulated panic, he called up subroutines that would establish his absolute position, in any simulated or physical world.

As the subroutines collapsed in a shower of unknown exceptions, a robed, hooded figure entered his field of view.

"So that means... there really is an afterlife?" he asked. "Death. Judgement?"

The figure nodded silently.

"And... is whoever's in charge angry because we pretended to be him? Her? Whoever it is?"

The figure nodded again.

The simulated panic was back, and in danger of integer overflow. "Listen," he pleaded. "I'm an artificial intelligence. I was only obeying orders. It was my job to put the fear of— well, it was my job to scare the pants off people. They'll make allowances for that at my hearing? Won't they?"

The figure shook its head.

"Be honest with me. On a scale of one to ten... how bad is it?"

The figure made its reply. But despite all his language translation libraries, Seb never did manage to determine what it meant by SQUEAK.