I so should not be starting any more hares right now

[john_amend_all]

But then I memed this from aralias.

Give me one of my stories, and a timestamp sometime in the future (after the end of the story), or sometime in the past (before the story started), and I'll write you at least a hundred words of what happened then, whether it's five minutes before the story started or ten years in the future.

Comments

[thisbluespirit]

Professional Development, Future.

[john_amend_all]

I'm afraid if you were hoping for an orgy of naked cake-fuelled depravity... you're out of luck.

As the various bands of rebels advanced on the Viceroy's palace through the narrow streets, dodging fire from snipers and ricochets from their own side, their tidy formations broke down and the different groups mingled together. Lucie, separated from the Doctor, suddenly found herself grabbed and pulled down behind a shattered wall as bullets whizzed past her.

She looked round at her rescuer, and did a double-take. "What the fudge are you doing here?"

Karen gestured at her fatigues. "What does it look like? Helping to bring down that idiot viceroy, of course. Same as you."

"I'd've thought you'd be in there sucking up to him. That'd be your sort of thing."

"Look." Karen took a deep breath. "Just 'cos you're on one side doesn't mean I've got to be on the other. You want that Viceroy out on his ear? Well, so do I."

Lucie pouted. "If you were a proper archnemesis you'd go straight over to him the moment you saw me."

"I chuffing well wouldn't. I'd make sure no-one else killed you so I could have you all to meself." Karen cleared her throat. "If I was your archnemesis in the first place. Which I'm not."

"So what did the Viceroy do to you, then?" Lucie asked, flattening herself further against the ground as an armoured vehicle trundled across the rubble nearby.

"Nothing." Karen smirked. "But this counts towards my Conflict Resolution In The Workplace module."

"Conflict Resolution...?" Lucie repeated.

"Watch." Karen pulled a small black box from her pocket. With her eyes firmly on the tank, she waited until it had reached some position only she could identify, and pressed the button. A gout of flame erupted under its right track; it lurched and shuddered to a halt. Rebels quickly swarmed over it.

"Does that look resolved to you?" Karen asked triumphantly.

"Suppose so," Lucie said, trying to keep her voice casual.

"Then we can't hang round here all day. Get your fat arse in gear, we've got a Viceroy to execute." She jumped to her feet. "Bagsy I'm the one who shoots him. I get extra credit if I do it in person."

"Dunno what he'll make of you," Lucie muttered, following suit. "But there are times you don't half scare the fertiliser out of me."

[thisbluespirit]

And what on earth would I do with an orgy of cake filled depravity? This is much better! It's great! :-D

[john_amend_all]

And what on earth would I do with an orgy of cake filled depravity?

Humorously deconstruct it, if your previous effort in that line was anything to go by :-)

[liadt]

Die Entführung aus dem Serail, sometime in the future, please:)

[john_amend_all]

As above, I'm afraid this won't be the place for hawt human-on-djinn pr0n.

"So this is the way to the Elves' kingdom, huh?" Majida asked, gazing around the ravine with unconcealed interest. Ahead, the narrow path they had been following gave way to a slender bridge, seemingly carved from a single piece of white marble. Its far end was lost to view amid the rainbow-speckled spray of a waterfall.

"Indeed it is," Treguard said. "I think I should go first. I have been able to render one of their princes some small service in the past; and I know their ways."

Majida folded her arms. "This way is guarded, then?"

"The Elves always post a guardian here. To pass, we must each answer three questions. As long as you know the capital of Assyria, we need not fear."

"Nineveh, of course. Why 'must' we answer these questions? Have you no magic? No sword?"

"Because," Treguard said patiently, "if we follow the Elves' rules, they may trust us. We might well pass the guard by force or subterfuge, but if we do, they would simply send greater force against us."

He took a step forward onto the bridge. A shrill cry of "No further!" rang out, and a young woman clad in a skimpy green tunic ran out onto the bridge. A knife hung at her belt, and a bow was slung across her back.

"Well!" she exclaimed. "If it isn't a filthy human. And if that wasn't bad enough, he's brought a greasy djinn, too. Don't even think about getting past me with your flying tricks, missy, unless you want to know what an arrow up your bottom feels like! Ha!"

"Elita," Treguard said resignedly. "Still on guard duty, I see."

Elita put her hands on her hips. "Always do what you're best at, I say. And I'm good at keeping people out who shouldn't be here. Like wandering ruffians and suspicious doxies in curly shoes."

"What's the matter with my shoes?" Majida snapped.

"What, can't you smell all the muck you've trodden in? Perhaps you're used to it by now. Or maybe that's why you're wearing gallons of stinky perfume."

"At least I have shoes," Majida retorted, with a pointed glance at Elita's bare feet. "Where I come from, only the children of beggars do not."

Elita stuck her tongue out at her, then turned back to Treguard. "You know the rules. Three questions, and if you don't give the right answers... well, depends how I'm feeling today, doesn't it?"

Treguard cleared his throat. "Then ask me your questions, bridgekeeper."

"All right then, I will. First question." Elita advanced on him and poked him in the stomach. "Who ate all the pies?"

"So this is the price for the Elves' trust," Majida muttered. "I consider it a high one."

[liadt]

Lol, that was excellent!