Alternate Universe Meme: The Fic

[john_amend_all]

Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I wrote drabbles for all the prompts.

General thoughts: With Doctor Who characters and some of the prompts, it's difficult to distinguish an AU setting from actual canon. So, once or twice, I took the prompt as 'Divergence in a broadcast story that used this trope'. And as for '…In SPACE!!', I did it by making the characters natives of other sci-fi settings.

I think 'Harem' may have been intended to refer to the Harem Genre, rather than an actual collection of concubines. I hope so, anyway. Though since I've never watched such an anime, it doesn't actually make my task that much easier.

romanajo123 prompted 'Eight/Grace (or if you want, Eight&Lucie)'. I chose Eight and Lucie.

1. Wild West

"Lucie!" Doc Smith looked up in surprise as his young friend appeared in the doorway. She had changed out of her dancer's costume into shirt, jeans and boots. "What are you still doing here? You know the Hulbert Gang's on their way."

"Yeah, you said." Lucie perched on the corner of his workbench. "You're still here, aren't you?"

"It's not me they're looking for. Lucie, if they catch up with you..."

Lucie shook her head. "I can't keep running all me life. Best chance I've got is here with you. Be better if you actually had a gun, of course."

2. Cyberpunk

Lucie ducked into an alleyway, pulling her leather jacket tight around her. The monowheel flashed past, but it seemed the rider hadn't noticed her. Glyphs flashed up in Lucie's eye implant, confirming what she already knew: that had been the Headhunter. And it was almost certainly Lucie's head she was after, too. The Corporation mightn't know exactly what was in there, but they knew they wanted it.

With the Headhunter around, the streets obviously weren't safe. Resignedly, Lucie looked around for a manhole. If she was going to get to Rosto's hideout in time, it wouldn't be the easy way.

3. Shapeshifters

"Twice in a day?" Lucie demanded. "I'm gonna be completely knackered tomorrow."

The Doctor held up his hands. "I know, I know, I know. But those guards will only open the gates on a direct order from the Queen. And since the real Queen isn't around..."

"Got it." Lucie pulled off her clothes, and wriggled into the royal robes. "Here goes."

The costume seemed to inflate, like a balloon filling with gas. Lucie's hair erupted into a profusion of ginger curls.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Exactly like her."

Lucie grimaced. "My bum's gonna look so big in this."

4. Pirates

"Open this door in the name of King Ferdinand!"

Lucie took one last look around the magazine, then at the smouldering fuse in her hand. With her injuries standing was out of the question, but she straightened her eyepatch.

"Think you've won, don't you?" she shouted back.

"Fort San Bernardo is now in our hands," the voice said. "All resistance is crushed."

"And your whole fleet's in the harbour?"

"Of course."

"Great. See you all in hell, then."

"Great?" the voice repeated, triumph vying with unease. "Who is this?"

Lucie touched the fuse to the powder trail. "Lucie. Bleeding. Miller!"

5. …In SPACE!!

"And who do you think you are?"

"I'm your new assistant." The young woman put her hands on her hips. "Got a problem with that?"

"I didn't ask for one."

"Don't blame me, I was sent here."

"Sent?" Doctor Smith repeated. "Who—"

He broke off as a Vorlon glided into view behind the girl. She looked round, and jerked her thumb at the alien.

"Hey," she said. "You. Tell him what I'm doing here."

The Vorlon's translator medallion flickered. "Witness protection."

"That isn't any sort of answer!" Doctor Smith protested.

"No," the Vorlon agreed, turned, and left without another word.

6. Born Another Gender

"So you join Max Warp as the Ferret's replacement," the Doctor explained. "Then you'll be our man on the inside."

"Yeah." Luke didn't look entirely enthralled by the prospect.

"Is there a problem?"

"Apart from the last fella in the job getting killed in a spaceship crash?"

The Doctor gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure you're up to all the banter and... you know... bloke talk. And you'll get to fly some amazing ships."

"I know." Luke grimaced. "But they're both really old."

"Really!" The Doctor tossed her head. "You think they're old. What about me?"

7. Schoolfic

"You got a problem?" Lucie demanded.

Paul wondered how he could put it tactfully. "I just... don't think we're best suited to play Beatrice and Benedick."

"What, you think I ought to be Hero? Then Rose'd have to be Beatrice. It'd be terrible."

"It'll be terrible anyway, I expect."

"Come on, it's only a school play." Lucie punched him in the arm. "Look on the bright side, we could've been doing Romeo and Juliet, and they end up dead. All we've got to do is snog a bit."

With Charlotte in the audience watching us, Paul thought. Dying sounds preferable.

8. Police/Firefighters

Detective Constable Miller was waiting outside Superintendent Straxus's office when the door banged open and Inspector Smith stumbled out.

"What did he say?" she asked, though she'd got a good idea from all the shouting.

"I'm off the case. You'll be reporting to Inspector Morbius for the duration."

"No sodding way!"

"I'm afraid so." He lowered his voice. "But I need you to play along with him. Just make sure you don't lose sight of Mr Sepulchre."

Miller didn't look convinced. "You do know there's no evidence against him, don't you?"

"That's what I'm counting on you to find, Miller."

9. Urban Fantasy

Lucie had been on her way to the Flamingo when her mobile rang. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognised the number.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Are you free?" a familiar Liverpool- accented voice said.

"I am now. What's up?"

"Trouble in Layton. Can you meet me at the station in thirty minutes?"

"See you there. Hang on, it isn't golems again, is it?"

"Well, I can't rule them out." He paused as Lucie let out a groan. "What's the matter with golems?"

"Every time it's golems I end up all over mud. Guaranteed. And I'm wearing new clothes, too."

10. Harem

"It's my turn for the Doctor," Tamsin said firmly, pointing at the rota pinned to the wall.

"You swapped with Charley last Monday," Grace countered. "So it's her—"

The door opened, revealing the Doctor, accompanied by a beautiful young woman with huge dark eyes.

"Hello everyone," he said. "This is Molly. She'll be staying with us pro tem. Oh, and I'll be taking her to the theatre tonight."

The assembled housemates exchanged frustrated glances.

Karen nudged Lucie. "Great, another one."

"Yeah." Lucie scowled. "I'd only just got the rota sorted out, and now I've got to start all over again."

thisbluespirit prompted 'Ben/Polly'. Of course, some of them came out more gen than shippy, but that's an occupational hazard in works of this size.

1. Wild West

"Can't you keep out of trouble?" Ben demanded, as he dragged Polly clear of the quicksand. "I told you to stay back at Ruby's Gulch. Not come running along after me."

"No, I can't." Immersion in quicksand had obviously not quenched Polly's spirit. From her bosom, she triumphantly produced a folded piece of cloth. "I found this in the Professor's desk. It's the map old Krimpton had!"

"Then hand it over and go back to the Gulch."

"Not a chance."

"OK." Ben surrendered to the inevitable. "Should be this way."

"No, that way. I'm the one with the map, partner."

2. Cyberpunk

"Not a sound."

Polly backed against the wall of the lift, feeling the dampness of the man's overcoat pressing against her thin dress, and something cold and metallic at her neck.

"You're still working for Professor Brett, aren't you? Nod once for yes."

Polly nodded.

"Doc needs something, and you can get it for us. WOTAN's boot tapes. Think you can find them?"

"What if I can't?" Polly whispered.

"Then you'll have to hope WOTAN looks after you. 'Cos no-one else'll have any say. I'll be here for them tomorrow."

He turned; the lift doors opened, and he was gone.

3. Shapeshifters

It was three days after the rest of the Chameleons had left before the Time Lord came to their cell.

"Michelle Leuppi," he said calmly. "And... Kevin, isn't it? You killed two people I was very fond of, and stole their shapes. So I made it a condition of the treaty that you would be given to me."

"Killing us won't bring your friends back," Michelle said.

"Oh, I know. And I'm not going to kill you." The Doctor thoughtfully glanced at the mirror on the wall. "But after the first thousand years or so, you may wish I had."

4. Pirates

Polly leaned over the rail of the poop deck, still retching even though she'd already thrown up what felt like the entire contents of her stomach.

"You all right, duchess?" a voice asked. Polly recognised it as that of the tall, handsome pirate who'd kidnapped her — with her total approval — the night before. She turned to look at him, and realised that in the light of day he was blond, wiry and shorter than her.

"I must look a sight," she said, mechanically wiping her mouth. "I thought being kidnapped by pirates would be romantic."

He shrugged. "Give it time."

5. …In SPACE!!

Ben had been moodily downing his drink and reflecting that unless his luck turned, he wouldn't be able to afford too many more. He hadn't noticed the two strangers until they were almost at his table.

"...You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy," the old man was saying, almost proprietorially. He cleared his throat. "We require passage to Trenco."

Ben tried not to sound too eager. "That's for you and..." He looked at the blonde girl and did nearly spat out his drink. "Princess Mariana?"

She put a finger to her lips. "Strictly incognito. Ssh!"

6. Born Another Gender

Ben looked around, to check they weren't in earshot of any of the moonbase crew. "How come everyone here thinks we're husband and... well, husband? That doesn't even make sense!"

"It is the future," Paul pointed out. "Who knows what's legal by now?"

"Legal's one thing. Doesn't mean I can get my head around it."

"Pity." Paul flicked at his blond hair. "I was thinking maybe we could pop round to a registry office while we were here. Or do I get tied up and flogged for saying something like that?"

Ben squeezed his hand. "Only if you're lucky, mate."

7. Schoolfic

Ben gazed upon the blonde, pompom- brandishing vision of loveliness before him, and contrived to force out the word "Urk."

"I know," Polly said. "I'm sure Wells High didn't even have a cheerleader squad this morning. Goodness knows what'll happen when we try to do our routine."

"...Gnah."

"Good luck with the game. Whatever it turns out to be." Polly looked at Ben's kit. "Looks as if it might be baseball. Mind you, in this place I wouldn't be surprised if it was Quidditch."

She gave Ben a quick peck on the cheek, and hurried off.

"...Eep," Ben eventually managed.

8. Police/Firefighters

Ben pulled the blanket closer around himself. "I'll never hear the end of this. I'm supposed to be putting fires out, not setting light to my own flat. Let alone both of us getting hauled out of there in the altogether. What'll everyone at the station think?"

"'Their love it was so ardent that the bedclothes caught on fire,'" Polly sang. The blaze had not so much as dented her blissful mood.

"It's not funny, Pol. Can't you tell them it wasn't what it looked like?"

Polly gave him an innocent look. "But it was exactly what it looked like."

9. Urban Fantasy

"Oh!" Ben did a double- take. "You've had your hair cut."

"Nice that you noticed," Polly said.

"It doesn't cause a problem? I mean, people can see your ears."

Polly shook her head. "When all you humans are going round with tattoos and piercings— not to mention the werewolves and the sparkly vampires— nobody's going to look twice at a mere half-elf. And if it's really essential for me not to be noticed, I can wear a hat."

"It's what they call a pixie cut, isn't it?"

Polly nodded. "And you should see what the pixies charged for it."

10. Harem

"How are you coping?" Kitty asked, her tail twitching as she sipped her tea. "You always used to complain you couldn't meet any nice boys."

"Now I've got three of them," Polly said.

The catgirl counted on her fingers. "The Doctor. Ben. And..."

"Jamie." Polly deliberately didn't look over her shoulder. "He's probably out there. Cute boy in a kilt."

"I thought it was a skirt." Kitty giggled. "I wish I had problems like him."

"You wouldn't say that if you had to live with all three of them."

Kitty patted her on the shoulder. "You'll cope. You always do."

liadtbunny prompted 'Doctor/Romana'.

1. Wild West

Romana leaned over the cliff and looked down. Far below on the canyon floor lay the shattered remains of Rorvik's wagon. His last cry of "I'm finally getting something done!" still seemed to echo among the rocks.

"It's over," Doc Smith's voice said beside her.

Romana took a step back from the edge. "You know it's nothing of the sort. We've dealt with Rorvik, but how many other slavers are there still out there?"

"You mean?"

"I mean I'm going to stay in this town, Doctor. Biroc's people need me."

The Doctor turned away. "You'll be superb," he said, choking.

2. Cyberpunk

"Some people would use the door," the hacker known only as BlueBoxIdiot remarked, as WarQueen clambered in through the window.

"Only if they wanted to be seen." WarQueen shook herself, sending droplets of grimy water in all directions, then unzipped her catsuit and pulled out a small cactus in a pot. "The sniffer was on their network for an hour. Let's see what it got."

She jacked it into a wall screen, and paged through lines of green text.

"Last access to DODECAHEDRON before the compromise was three hours ago," she said. "Login details..." Her eyes widened. "They used yours!"

3. Shapeshifters

"You'd just better be the real Doctor this time," Romana said.

The Doctor looked puzzled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You mean you didn't know? The Master's been going around looking like you." Romana lay back on the bed. "Didn't have as much stamina as the real you, though."

"The Master? He was here?"

Romana nodded.

"What did he do to you?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle. You should ask what happened to him."

"Oh? And what did happen to him?"

"He turned into a snake." She indicated a crushed mess of scales and slime on the floor. "It didn't help."

4. Pirates

"BY DAVY JONES'S BEARD, MR FIBULI, WHEN WILL THAT RUDDER BE REPAIRED?"

"He seems upset," Romana remarked, listening to the tirade echoing down the companionway.

The Doctor nodded. "He usually does. Are you all right there? You look a little uncomfortable."

"I've got an itch between my shoulders." Romana raised her manacled hands. "Can you reach it? I can't."

"There?"

Romana wriggled pleasurably. "That's much better. It almost makes up for the quarters and the rations..."

"MR FIBULI! IF THAT CARPENTER IS NOT DONE BY SUNSET, HE SHALL HANG FROM THE MAINMAST BY HIS ENTRAILS!"

"...And the company, of course."

5. …In SPACE!!

"This," the ship announced, "is your new recruit."

"Pleased to meet you," the young woman said. "I'm Gallifrey-Kasterborusa Romana Frederica Trelundar dam Dvora."

"Are you really? How terrible for you." The man extended a hand. "Welcome to Special Circumstances."

"Of course, you don't have to call me that all the time."

"No. If it was an emergency and I had to shout all that it would all be over before I'd got to your surname. I think we'd better just stick with 'Fred.'"

Romana narrowed her eyes. "If you do, I'll have no option but to call you 'Basil.'"

(Afterthought: Someone's surely written a DW/B7 fic where Romana and Servalan show up at a party wearing the same outfit?)

6. Born Another Gender

"Doctor," Fred said. "Do we really need to bother with this uncouth person?"

Duggan bristled. "You're asking for a punch in the mouth."

"I'm an expert in twelve martial arts. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"Heard that before." Duggan raised his fists. "Time to put up or shut up."

He launched himself at Fred, who retaliated in kind.

The door opened.

"Ah, Doctor. My apologies for the delay..." Count Scarlioni broke off at the sight of the brawl in progress. "Is something the matter?"

"Oh, them?" the Doctor said, with a particularly toothy grin. "They're just establishing a working relationship."

7. Schoolfic

Romana wriggled through the hole in the fence, then stood to one side as Tom crept in behind her.

"The caretaker should have finished his rounds by now," she whispered. "All we've got to do is get back to our dormitories and tidy ourselves up."

Tom nodded. "As long as Maxil isn't doing one of his surprise inspections we'll be home and dry."

"Some people," Romana said, "would just tell the teacher they'd lost their exercise book. Not make elaborate plans to sneak out after dark and get a replacement."

"Well, yes," Tom admitted. "But where's the fun in that?"

8. Police/Firefighters

"Thought you ought to know," Sergeant Dvora said, as she breezed into the saloon of the Empress. "I've called in the drug squad."

Inspector Smith, who'd apparently been dozing in one of the armchairs, lifted the hat that had been covering his face. "Any particular reason, Sergeant?"

"What all those stuffed animals are stuffed with is class A drugs. And I strongly suspect some of the high grade psychotropics have leaked into the water supply."

"Yes." The Inspector replaced his hat. "To be fair, the reports of monsters with glowing eyes roaming the ship were something of a clue there."

9. Urban Fantasy

"I wouldn't do that if I were—" Romana began.

The lead gunman fired. Romana collapsed to the ground; the three amateur demon-hunters stepped over her broken body without a second glance and advanced on the Doctor.

"Hands up," the leader said.

"You shouldn't have done that," the Doctor said.

"'Course I should. She was an Othersider. That's all they're fit for. Bounty's good, too."

The Doctor shook his head. "That isn't what I meant."

"What he meant," Romana's voice added coldly from behind them, "was that if you want to kill a werewolf, you have to use silver shot."

10. Harem

"Hello," the Doctor said, stepping through the gauze curtains into the seraglio. "How are we all today?"

Romana I gestured at a towering heap of purple spheroids. "I've been peeling grapes all day. Has anyone worked out who wants them yet?"

"Not a clue," Romana II said.

"More research seems to be needed," Romana III concluded.

Romana I tossed a bunch of grapes to her. "You can start with these."

Romana II scratched her head. "I can't help thinking we've all missed something important. What's a harem for, anyway?"

"Let me know if you work it out," the Doctor said.

Comments

[john_amend_all]

I don't know what it is about the Romana harem, but it does seem to be popular :-)