Three things

[john_amend_all]

1. More 500-prompts fic. This time it's from liadtbunny's prompt: "277. Catastrophe in the making - Second, Jamie":

   Crucial Distraction (1389 words) by JohnAmendAll
   Chapters: 1/1
   Fandom: Doctor Who (Season 6B)
   Rating: General Audiences
   Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
   Characters: Second Doctor, Jamie McCrimmon
   Additional Tags: 500 prompts
   Summary: The Doctor's latest attempt, with Jamie's help, to save a base under siege.

2. A few days ago I made a rash remark about filking The Living Daylights as a celebration of Jo Grant — Assassin for hire!

   Turns out it's not an easy song to filk, because A-Ha seemed to have a somewhat cavalier attitude to rhyme, scansion, and singing the words that all the transcripts say they should be singing. But if anyone is morbidly curious,

   A Midi file with the tune can be found at midis.jamesbond-online.com.

   Cute girl you'd like to cuddle,
   Gets papers in a muddle,
   Wears a bandeau on her head —
   One wrong move, she'll strike you dead.
   
   She's been killing people since the age of ten
   She can cut your head off with a ballpoint pen
   When you launch your planet-conquering attack,
   It's Jo Grant who'll stick a dagger in your back.
   (She's the) blonde assassin.
   
   Her sights are on you now
   Your death is in her mind:
   She knows everything you've tried.
   You can run but you can't hide.
   
   No-one ever sees her gun until she shoots
   She's got knives inside her four-inch platform boots
   Every ring can kill you in a different way
   Cross her and you'll never see another day.
   (She's the) blonde assassin.
   

3. These banners are definitely addictive.
   
   This entry was originally posted at http://john-amend-all.dreamwidth.org/61199.html. Feel free to comment there or here.

Comments

[liadt]

I'm glad you didn't do a cover with Hordriss & Lissard-as-Marta! Mr & Mrs Grimwold must have had an unconventional courtship, she's a witch, he's an orge they met while dog walking...

[john_amend_all]

Now there's a thought. And there's even a prompt that might just fit.

53. When a chance encounter with a mysterious sexy stranger leads to a night he’ll never forget, independent Lissard can’t believe his luck. Until the morning after, when the man in his bed turns into the Opposition's newest, sleekest executive. Not to mention he’ll be working with him to bring his latest, hippest designer clothing venture to life.

Hordriss the Confuser can’t believe his bad luck. Hitting the sheets with the Dark Lord's seneschal isn’t the smartest move he’s ever made. Or is it? Lissard's beautiful, smart, sensual – there’s no lying about that. But he’s used to the best..of everything, even men. Especially men. Can Hordriss measure up?

Though I did have vague thoughts of doing one with Lord Fear and Lissard-not-as-Marta.

9. Like the rest of the staff at the Black Tower of Goth, Lissard is nervous about meeting his new boss – but when he walks through the door it’s worse than he could ever have imagined! Lissard shared one very special night with him – but now they have to play it strictly business! But for how long can they pretend nothing has happened? Especially now that Lissard has discovered he’s going to be having his boss’s eggs…

From city lizardman – to corporate husband!

And then there are Things Man Was Not Meant To Know.

130. This is a gorgeous room. So white and tranquil and glamorous, like something from a thirties movie set. From his pocket, Lord Fear retrieves a white plastic rectangle. It's an invitation to a very exclusive private function, extended only to certain guests. The white card was in our welcome basket, along with the sex toys, and neither of us was quite sure whether we'd accept tonight...until now. Lord Fear and Sylvester are ready to heat things up with a stay at a luxurious hotel that provides very special services. The White Room comes complete with discreet bondage accessories and a vast array of hedonistic toys that perfectly suit their erotic games of dominance and submission. But are they ready to take advantage of everything the White Room has to offer?"

... There should be some brain bleach somewhere around here.

[liadt]

The Lord Fear/Lissard one is perfect. The Hordriss/Lissard one could lead to Hordriss the Confused, talk about beer goggles. I'd leave the Fear/Hands prompt, I think it would break the obscene publications act and mentions of 'The White Room' reminds me of the mid-90's show with Iggy Pop in see-thru trousers. Amusing screenshot, don't remember that episode;)