15 Characters Meme: Results

[john_amend_all]

Since I didn't get prompts for all 15 characters, I'll omit the ones who weren't mentioned: they may come in useful for something later. No fic this time, I'm afraid, only short answers.

1. Professor Theodore von Schwarzenhoffen, MD, AD, DDS, FLD, FFF and F. [The Music Box, Laurel & Hardy]
2. Victoria Waterfield [Doctor Who]
3. (that would be telling)
4. (that would be telling)
5. Olivier de Bretagne [Cadfael series by Ellis Peters]
6. Commissioner Dreyfus [Inspector Clouseau films]
7. Megan Hunter [The Moving Finger, Agatha Christie]
8. Piggy Malone [The Two Ronnies]
9. R. Donald 111 [Caliban trilogy, Roger McBride Allen]
10. Indiana Jones [Indiana Jones films]
11. Colonel William Lawford [Sharpe books, Cornwell]
12. Christine [Maskerade, Pratchett]
13. (that would be telling)
14. Zuleika Dobson [Zuleika Dobson, Beerbohm]
15. Inspector Baynes [The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge, Conan Doyle]

lost_spook asked:

5 [Olivier de Bretagne] has to steal something from 9 [R. Donald 111] in order to help out 10 [Indiana Jones] and 11 [Colonel Lawford]. What is it, why and what goes horribly wrong?

The story starts, I feel, with Lawford needing to retrieve one of the Crown Jewels that some high-up in the Government has carelessly given to his mistress. His first plan was to hire Indiana Jones, who promptly got injured and had to call in a subcontractor.

It all goes wrong because Olivier is a skilled 12th-century knight, but Donald 111 is a futuristic 3-law robot specifically designed for law enforcement. So it's fairly good odds that he'd spot Olivier coming and arrest him. And then probably return the Crown Jewel to its rightful owner anyway, once he was sure who the rightful owner was.

6 [Commissioner Dreyfus] falls madly in love with 14 [Zuleika], but they are kept apart by the jealous meddling of 1 [Professor von Schwarzenhoffen].

This was the beautiful and appropriate casting I mentioned: Zuleika's an enchanting femme fatale with whom everybody falls in love as a matter of course. No doubt Dreyfus runs into her in the course of an investigation, and at once resolves to lay his heart at her feet. But before he can do so, the good Professor bursts into his office to complain that Inspector Clouseau is wrecking his house and seducing his wife. By the time Dreyfus has managed to calm the Professor down, Zuleika is nowhere to be seen, and Dreyfus's eyelid is flickering wildly.

2 [Victoria Waterfield], 12 [Christine], 15 [Inspector Baynes] and 7 [Megan Hunter] survive the apocalypse. Who caused it, who lasts out the longest, or can any of them save the world?

Considering we've got an intelligent, cunning police inspector who can give Sherlock Holmes a run for his money, and the others are more or less sheltered young women, there isn't that much competition for who lasts longest. But I fear the future for civilisation looks bleak. Victoria might be able to shoot the odd giant mutant bear, but cooking it would probably be beyond her. Megan does not appear to be of a practical turn of mind, and her ability to make convincing blackmail demands can only be of limited use in this scenario. And as for Christine, I'm pretty sure she caused the apocalypse in the first place. If anyone's going to restore civilisation, my money's on the giant mutant bears.

8 [Piggy Malone] writes fanfic; 9 [R. Donald 111] reviews it.

I think that if Malone were to write fanfic (perhaps he's going undercover as an author?), it would be of something like Z-Cars, and involve a thinly-disguised version of himself solving crimes, romancing beautiful heiresses and knocking armed men out with a single blow. Donald, being a three-law robot, would find all the violence terribly distressing.