Pairings Meme

[john_amend_all]

Memed from lost_spook:

Make a list of all the characters in your icons. (Although you may have more than one icon of a single character, they only go on the list once.) Alphabetize it. Take the first two people on the list; that's your first pairing. Second two people; second pairing, etc. Treat us to some commentary once you're done.

Sorting by first name, I get this:

Arthur Wellesley, first Duke of Wellington [Blackadder] / a Guardsman [Castle Spellerous]

Somehow I think the flow of narrative causality dictates that the guardsman is played by Tim McInnerny and is called Darling.

Jamie McCrimmon [Doctor Who] / Jane Marple [Miss Marple]

To get romance I think this would require the mythical young Jane Marple — or perhaps not so mythical after all. But my preference would be to keep her elderly, and make him her legman. They could team up and solve mysteries in eighteenth-century Scotland.

Peri Brown [Doctor Who] / a Princess [Castle Spellerous]

Occam's Razor would identify the Princess with Erimem. But I'm not sure that, confined to a castle by an evil wizard, Erimem would content herself with standing on the top of a tower waving her arms and calling for help.

Samantha Briggs [Doctor Who] / Sherlock Holmes [Sherlock Holmes]

Whichever Holmes she meets, I don't think romance is on the cards. If it's the Holmes in my icon, everyone would be too busy wondering (and too polite to mention) why Sam looked like a young version of the Queen — could she be the Prince of Wales's natural daughter? In the modern-day version, Sam's probably a candidate for Mayor of Liverpool (for which I see nominations close today) and calls in Sherlock and John to investigate funny business on the campaign trail.

the TARDIS [Doctor Who] / Ulkesh Naranek [Babylon 5]

In theory, this might work; Vorlons and their spaceships have very much the same sort of bond as Time Lords and their TARDISes. In practice, the TARDIS has no intention of giving the Doctor up, and Ulkesh is far too much of a control freak. If he did push his luck I don't think he'd last any longer than House did.

Victoria Waterfield [Doctor Who] / a Weeping Angel [Dark Sceptre]

In the original game the Weeping Angel is just a statue. But since that's not very romantic, I think I'll substitute a Doctor Who Weeping Angel, who conceives of a hopeless passion for Victoria. Wanting its beloved to be happy, it transports her to 1746, ten feet from Jamie.

Willy [Jet Set Willy] / a Wizard [Lords of Chaos]

This might work quite well; all Willy ever gets made to do is run about the screen collecting glowing objects, and in Lords of Chaos a wizard can always find a use for magical weapons or fresh supplies of ingredients. On the minus side, Willy probably gets eaten by dragons, giant spiders, demons, etcetera.

Zoë Heriot [Doctor Who]

Sits this one out, and is no doubt grateful that she was the last of her clone-batch.

Then, because the list was short, I sorted them by surnames and tried again.

Samantha Briggs / Peri Brown

I fear Peri would get on Sam's wick terribly. Romance would, I feel, only be possible with the aid of hallucinogenic pollen or those ever-helpful aliens who Make Them Do It.

a Guardsman / Zoë Heriot

Presumably he recruited her to help him with his spelling, and protect him from being eaten by giant bats. And once the Princess was rescued, the two of them promptly took up arms again to save the kingdom from the dreaded Sum Scruncher.

Sherlock Holmes / Jane Marple

And this was when I knew the by-surname list had to be included in the post. Obviously Miss Marple would be Sherlock Holmes's landlady, and charm information out of his clients with her gossipy ways.

Jamie McCrimmon / Ulkesh Naranek

The moment Ulkesh starts throwing his weight about, Jamie's going to go for him with a dagger. Which won't end well for Jamie, I'm afraid.

a Princess / the TARDIS

So the TARDIS decides she's found the Doctor's next companion, and promptly decides to steal her... after all, that worked with the Doctor, right?

Victoria Waterfield / a Weeping Angel

This meme's quite insistent, isn't it?

Wellington / Willy

I don't think there has been a fanmade Jet Set Willy set in the Napoleonic Wars, but if there was, Wellington would be the one standing at the end of the bed tapping his foot and waiting for Willy to sort out the army's supply of rations. Only to disappear mysteriously the moment Willy succeeds in his mission.

a Wizard

Remains in his tower in solitude.